BY KELLY HAGEN
Dad, is it safe for me to go trick or treating this year?
- JellyBean, daughter
Yes, Virginia (not her real name), it is safe to trick or treat for Halloween. We just have to be a little careful.
Dad’s favorite memories of Halloween as a child all took place on or around Dakota Drive in Bismarck, North Dakota. That’s the street your great-grandparents lived on.
Nana and Papa built a house out in the country, so trick or treating on your dad’s street wasn’t a great option. Since it was gravel. And no one else lived on it, except for your other great-grandparents. And they were half-mile away, so that’s a heck of a jaunt for a miniature Kit Kat.
The streets were just filled with kids going door-to-door for their share of the communal candy. It was kind of like golfing. Your group got in between a group ahead of you and behind you, and you tried not to dilly-dally at the doors so you didn’t hold up the group behind you. Or at least let them play through, if you were going slower.
It was awesome. We walked away every year with buckets of candy. Sometimes you’d get a full-sized candy bar from the people who were really good at Halloween. Sometimes you’d get a full can of Coke from the people who were really bad at preparing for the future. But it was fun.
Somewhere along the line, though, parents started getting scared that something bad could happen, walking around your home neighborhood and soliciting candy contributions from your neighbors.
So “trunk or treats” popped up. You can go to the mall and receive candy from Hot Topic instead. Or walk around a parking lot and get candy from the same people as you used to get candy from at their homes, but instead they’ve parked their cars in a line and that’s somehow safer.
Adults are weird, I know.
When I was a kid in the ’80s … yes, there was an ’80s … no, I’m not “old” per se. I look younger than I am. I feel every bit of my 41 years, sure, but I could still have another good 40-50 years of life left in me. I’ve been drinking more water, and I thought about doing push-ups the other night.
When I was a kid, in a decade you can’t even fathom, Nana and Papa went through my candy before I ate it. Because there were whispers about people putting razor blades in apples, or injecting gross stuff into candy bars. Why would people do that? I don’t know. Again, adults are weird people.
But, better safe than sorry. So, yes, we will be trick or treating the good old-fashioned way, door to door, this year. We’ll dress the dog up as a hot dog again, because that’s hilarious.
Dad will either be a green crayon, a shark or an inflatable T-Rex. We’re going to stay close to Mom and Dad the whole time, listen and say “thank you” to everyone. And we’re going to be just fine.
Stop asking questions (until next week for Daddy’s column), and don’t eat that entire bucket of candy on the walk home, either. You’ll rot your teeth. But any cans of Coke go straight to your awesome Dino Dad.
Kelly Hagen is a former newspaper journalist, a writer and communications professional. He lives in Bismarck, N.D., with his wife, Annette, and their two young children. If you have a question you’d like to Ask A Dad, send an e-mail to kelly.hagen@gmail.com.
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