BY KELLY HAGEN
**This week, our parenting correspondent answers a common childhood question asked by his own son.
Dad, why do I have a bedtime?
Good question, son.
No one really knows why, but all humans (and most animals that I’m aware of) require a time each day to go into a mini-coma and rest.
You asked me why, though, and I don’t have a solid answer for you. I can, however, share with you some of my theories.
Theory #1: Sleeping is awesome.
Have you tried sleeping? I mean, really tried it? Every time I’ve ever slept (which, granted, was a long, long, long time ago, thanks to you and your sister), I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Or I think I did. Can’t really remember.
Theory #2: The brain needs time to process.
It’s a big, confusing world out there, and your brain knows that. Every day of your life, you are going to see weird stuff, hear odd things, touch strange objects and learn a bunch of jargon. Not only does your brain have to process all that stuff as it’s happening, but it needs some time to reflect, too. That’s what dreams are. Your brain’s trying to make sense of all the stuff you did to it, all day. So, prepare to watch a movie about your travels, with a plot that will make no sense at all. Good luck remembering the movie after you watch it, too. I can’t, and I’m a grown man.
Theory #3: You gotta stop moving for a minute, buddy.
Energy is finite. I know you don’t believe that, as a 5-year-old. But when you’re my age, you get tired after you spend the whole day running in circles. Your lungs have to rest. Your muscles, too. Every part of you, really. We’re not machines, child.
Theory #4: How else will we know when it’s time to read books and brush our teeth?
Life’s all about routines. If we didn’t go to bed every night at the same time, we’d never know when to do all the routine stuff that goes with literally lying down in the bed and closing your eyes. There are certain things you have to do every day. You’ve got to drink water and consume nutrition, naturally. You have to breathe air, like, constantly.
But you also need to brush your hair, take baths, brush your teeth, floss, remove your contact lenses, turn the TV off, put the iPad to sleep, read 3-5 books in a row, put on pajamas and stop moving all of the time. Those are important things to do, then. If you didn’t have a bedtime each night, how would you remember to do those things each day? You wouldn’t, that’s how.
Theory #5: We’ve got to give our predators a sporting chance at catching us.
Forget that last one. We have no natural predators, boy. Just lie down and go to sleep.
Kelly Hagen is a former newspaper journalist, a writer and communications professional. He lives in Bismarck, ND, with his wife, Annette, and their two young children. If you have a question you’d like to Ask A Dad, send an e-mail to kelly.hagen@gmail.com. Otherwise he’s just going to continue answering questions from his kids.
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