BY EMILY JOHNSON and TERI FINNEMAN
Belinda Rehmer wasn’t initially comfortable with sending her 12-year-old-grandson back to school during the pandemic.
As his primary caretaker, she knew there was a chance Julian could contract the virus in class and bring it back home to her and her husband.
But after looking back at her grandson spending most of the spring and summer at home, she felt like Julian needed to go back to school to participate in sports, get out of the house and spend time with friends.
“I worked at Lawrence Memorial Hospital, and there’s a certain amount of risks that you take. I have a deep faith, and I’ve just got to know that it’s going to be OK,” Rehmer said.
More than 2.6 million children across the nation live in grandfamilies, where grandparents, other adult family members or close family friends are raising children with no parents in the home, according to Generations United.
For grandparents like Rehmer, the pandemic has created a dynamic of juggling the social and emotional needs of grandchildren with their own higher level of risk with the coronavirus.
“An already complex situation”
Jessica Freeman, an assistant professor of communications at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, researches grandparents who are primary caretakers of grandchildren. She said caretakers in older age groups already face more challenges, and the pandemic has exacerbated them.
“It adds complexity to an already complex situation,” Freeman said.
She emphasized the importance of open communication between grandparents and grandchildren but noted there isn’t a “one-size-fits-all” approach for how these families should handle the pandemic.
However, Freeman said it is important for grandparents to have plans in place in case they should become ill and unable to care for the children. This includes having a will, ensuring their financial resources are in order and formalizing a designated successive caregiver for the children.
“Especially during a pandemic, communicating your wishes, trying to file some kind of formal documentation of those becomes very important,” Freeman said.
Another complexity is that about 20 percent of grandparents raising grandchildren live below the poverty line, she said, resulting in grandparents also having to balance homeschooling with their own jobs.
AARP Kansas State Director Maren Turner said there’s a mix of some grandparents who are able to step up and fulfill the role of teacher, tutor and tech support, while others are struggling.
The AARP website has tips for grandparents who are helping grandchildren from home with information on wifi connection, technology support, creating a study space and using resources for homework like Grammarly, Khan Academy and photo math.
Beyond help with schooling, emotional support is also necessary for grandfamilies, Turner said. AARP has resources, such as a list of groups near your area, personal grief support, guided meditation, helplines, planning ahead for unforeseeable health complications, online classes and more
One resource that Turner recommends is the option to call an AARP volunteer.
“Maybe you just want another adult to call and say, ‘Hey, how are you doing? How is it going?’ You know, just a friendly phone call to be able to talk about anything,” Turner said.
“Staying within our circle”
Susie Parscal of Eudora is the caretaker of her 13-year-old granddaughter, Lexi Parscal, and 11-year-old grandson, Brody Norman.
Parscal said Brody has handled being back at school while remaining cautious with an older caregiver.
“He has to wear a mask, and we have talked about that. Brody is already pretty worried about being back at school anyway. He doesn’t really want to be there,” Parscal said.
Their family has been staying home more during the pandemic
“We are just staying within our circle of people that we know where they have been,” Parscal said.
Freeman said grandparent caregivers often report feeling socially isolated due to their circumstances and the pandemic has likely compounded this.
“One of the most critical things caregivers can do right now is to reach out to engage support systems and community resources,” she said.
Additional resources for relative and kinship caregivers can be found at the Children’s Bureau site here.
Reach reporter Emily Johnson at eudoratimes@gmail.com.
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